Tips for Parents
Parent Management Training aims to provide parents with techniques to manage their child’s behavioural problems or teach their children new skills. It is based on the idea that behaviour is learnt from others and is shaped as a result of responses to it. In other words, the consequences that follow the behaviour will determine whether that behaviour continues to occur.
What is it used for?
Parent Management Training is useful when a change in children’s behaviour is required. It includes treating children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, Sleep Disorders, aggression and other behavioural problems. It is also used for the development of social skills and problem solving.
In order for Parent Management Training to be effective, parents must first understand what is appropriate and ‘normal’ behaviour for children of different ages and stages. Reading material on children’s development can guide parents in the expectations they should have of children. Following this, parents should identify appropriate expectations and rules about their child’s behaviour, and effective ways to enforce rules and administer consequences when these rules are broken.
Some tips to help parents better manage children’s problem behaviour include:
- Improving Communication.
Parents sometimes need to develop better listening skills as well as clear communication. This includes strategies such as:
Keep communication with children simple and age appropriate.
- Instructions should be short and repeated or clarified if you think he/she has not heard or not understood. Ask him/her if they have understood; don’t assume this.
- Ask him/her to look at you when you are speaking so that you know they are attentive. Accordingly, parents should also try to look at the child when speaking to him or her. This will encourage children to listen to what parents are saying.
- Identifying patterns that may contribute to problem behaviour.
Look at the problem behaviour and see what is happening before and after the behaviour occurs. This includes strategies such as:
Identifying and interrupting ‘triggers’ that may contribute to the development of the problem behaviour, or events that follow the behaviour which may lead to the likelihood of the problem behaviour happening again.
If he/she knows that by crying long enough eventually Dad will give in and give him/her a treat, then this behaviour will continue, because he/she has learnt that crying for long periods will eventually get him/her what is wanted. Breaking this pattern by not giving in, even if it means some distress for the child initially, will show him/her that crying for long periods does not end with a reward. The pattern will eventually be broken and he/she will stop the problem behaviour.
- Setting appropriate expectations and rules.
Parents should develop a list of appropriate behaviour and rules that they expect children to abide by. These rules should be reasonable given the child’s age. For older children, these rules can be developed through negotiations between parents and children. These rules should be discussed with younger children so that they are aware of the expectations placed on them. Parents can then use these rules as a guide to assess the appropriateness of children’s behaviour.
- Administer consequences for bad behaviour in a consistent way.
To be successful in altering child behaviour, parents must provide rewards to increase positive behaviour and removal of rewards, or a time-out type of punishment, to decrease negative behaviour. Intervening with suitable consequences when problem behaviour is displayed is important if a reduction of unacceptable behaviour is to occur. The consequences chosen must fit the situation and the severity of the misconduct. It may be useful to discuss with the child appropriate punishments and rewards, which are logical consequences of behaviour.
- Acknowledging and rewarding positive behaviour.
As well as identifying inappropriate behaviour, parents should recognise positive behaviour and highlight this by responding with positive consequences such as praise and rewards. This reinforcement provides a balanced approach to the demands parents make in terms of expectations and rules, and promotes valued behaviour in children. An increase in positive consequences will result in an increase in positive child/parent interactions. A reward should be something that the child likes and values. Rather than parents nominating rewards, it may be preferable that the child determines some of the rewards as part of setting up expectations and rules.
- Parents working together.
For best results parents must be seen to be working together and to share values and beliefs about child rearing. Hence, both parents must agree and be clear on rules and expectations and abide by these in providing consistent consequences to the child and reliable support to each other.
When the child’s behaviour problems are severe it may be difficult for parents to address some of the problems without help from a professional trained in the area. For more information and strategies relating to positive parenting contact James Brown at Bulimba Psychology on 3899 1455 or contact the APS on 1800 333 497. Visit the APS at www.psychology.org.au.
